So, I've been to one of these before, a few years ago. But, after discussions with my primary care doc and my fertility specialist decided to focus on getting pregnant before having surgery. This was mainly because after surgery you have to wait a year before getting pregnant and that would have just taken more time out of my 'fertile years.' So, here I am. I was lucky enough to get pregnant and have Beauly. Now I need to get serious about losing all.of.this.weight. It's a lot.
And I'm scared. It's surgery. I could literally die on the table. Sure, that doesn't happen often (like, almost never) but it DOES happen. So, it's something for me to obsess about and worry over. And it's a major, major life change, this surgery. Small meals, no soda, lots of restriction. Life will be radically different.
But I have to do something. I need to be here for Beauly and David. Mainly for Beauly, but I want to be here for both of them. And I want to be able to fly without a seatbelt extender. And ride rollercoasters again. And not get winded walking up one flight of stairs. I need to be healthier.
And I'm so scared of the surgery killing me, but what I need to remind myself is that the way I'm living now could (and is more likely to than surgery) kill me. High blood pressure, diabetes, cancers. I am killing myself living this way. I need to make a major change.
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